Finding Clarity with Dr. T.S. Lemco

I’ve recently been at a crossroads in my career. For the first time in a long time, my slate is completely blank, and rather than do the thing that I normally do, which is try harder and do more and, in the words of my coach and dear friend John, “peddle faster”, I stopped. For the first time in my adult life, I didn’t immediately fill the plate back up. Instead, I gave myself the time and the space to think. And it’s been really good.

I’ve come to learn how valuable it is to give yourself time and space, so I thought I’d share 14 exercises that’ve helped me find clarity recently. Granted, I’m aware that downtime is a privilege that not everyone has, but everyone is capable of taking 10, 30, or 60 mins per day to slow down and think. If you think you can’t, then you REALLY need to.

By no means am I any kind of expert when it comes to success, but in the event the someone else can find value from these practices, here are my favorite ways of self-exploration before taking the next step. I recommend doing one of these exercises per day, over a two-week span.

1. Gratitude — start out by listing 100 things that you’re grateful for. Do it on paper, with a pen or pencil, rather than on a screen.
2. Affirmations — next, fill in a 100 “I am _________” statements. Write them in the present tense, and be kind to yourself! Affirmations are meant to be positive. Do this one on paper as well.
3. Write The Character — in as many words as you’re comfortable writing, describe the ideal version of you. How do they dress? How do they act? How do they treat people? How are they at weddings? Write as much as you can about the ideal version of you. Re-read this description often, and keep reminding yourself who you are.
4. What’s Your #1 Skill — out of all the things you’re capable of, what’s the most valuable one? This may not be what you’re best at; your top skill can also be what you enjoy the most, what you think helps the most, or any sort of other criteria or combination of these factors. Be as concise or as abstract as you’d like in describing your skill, it’s certainly not confined to standard professions or trades.
5. Inspirations — make a list of your 10–15 greatest influences, then spend some time learning more about them or re-visiting their work. Observe them through the lens of a competitor, not an admirer.
6. Thing You Love — think about the things that you love and spend some time doing them, practicing them, or learning more about them. Assess how you feel about your favorite things, as honestly as possible, while understanding that it’s ok if you no longer love them like you once did. What’s important is that you allow yourself to be honest about how the thing makes you feel.
7. Where Am I? — explain, in as much detail as you’re able to, exactly where you are. Where do you stand within the context of your personal journey? What does your progress look like at this moment?
8. Describe Your Ideal Life — what does your ideal life entail? Where will you be? What will you be doing? Write it in the present tense, like “I am…”. Be as detailed as possible.
9. What’s Your Intention? — what do you want to influence? What do you want to get people to believe in? What is the point of what you do? These are tough questions that are important to re-visit frequently. “The world makes way for someone who knows where they’re going.”
10. Reverse Engineer — once you have your ideal life defined, and your intentions defined, list out all the necessary steps that go into each of those goals. Then, set tangible timelines for reaching each of those individual checkpoints. Be fair and realistic, and don’t judge yourself if you miss a deadline; just keep going
11. Write The Story — once you’ve reversed engineered your targets, write it out like a story that you’re the main character of. Write your story the way you intend it to play out. Write it in the 3rd person, as though you’re writing for a character, not yourself. Feel free to use point-form if script writing isn’t your thing.
12. Vision Board — once you have your ideal life defined, and your intentions defined, assemble a collection of imagery that represents all those elements, and put it all together into one collage or collection. Look at this image frequently.
13. Post-Its — get some post-its, get as large a surface area as you can find, and unpack your brain; all of the thoughts and ideas, get them out of your brain, organize them, then take a step back and look at them in reality.
14. Free Writing — just sit down with a pen or pencil and a notepad for as long as you can. At the very least, give it an hour. Sit in silence, without distraction. Make sure you have no intentions when you enter into this exercise; just let your mind off the leash and write down anything good that comes up. I recommend doing this one on a weekly basis.

I also recommend reading this letter by Hunter S Thompson to a friend asking for career advice. It’s something I like to revisit every few months.

If you have any exercises that you find useful or that’ve helped you gain some clarity, I’d love to hear about them! You can find me on Twitter or Instagram — feel free to reach out!