Tyler’s Life Hacks #01
A few days ago, I was reading yet another fantastic article by my good pal Greg Isenberg titled “Little Lifehacks Guaranteed to Improve your Life #3”. No, that isn’t some ironic title; Greg’s actually written two prior articles of the same nature and they’re all really helpful. Greg delivers loads of tips on how to be more productive, how to interact with people, and just how to maximize your life in general. I encourage you to take a look for yourself.
As good as Greg’s nuggets of knowledge are, I feel a responsibility to contribute some more of my own. These are very important, and following my instructions could completely change your life. Here are 10 life hacks you need to start doing right away:
- Keep a running to-do list. I’m the least organized person on the planet and often times a plastic bag floating in the wind can turn into a 45-minute delay in my workflow. Therefore, I keep myself in check with a daily list of what needs to get done. Any given day can range from 10 to 25 different tasks, and I usually schedule out at least a week in advance. If I finish my list for the day, then I’m free to play with my hula hoop until bed time.
- Spend money on toilet paper. I don’t care what sort of budget you’re on, there is never a valid excuse for buying cheap toilet paper. For the extra $2.50, it’s worth not having caca in your fingernails every morning.
- Don’t waste your time playing soccer. It’s just not worth it. Find something better to do.
- Always say “bless you”. People appreciate it, and it shows that you’re a caring person. Even if you don’t know the person, or it’s literally a stranger walking by you on the street. A nice “bless you” always makes someone feel good. Even if they didn’t sneeze, just go around blessing people. Gently touch them on the forehead when you say it.
- Enough with the diets. The problem with a diet is that you won’t stick to it forever. You’ll eventually go back to your old habits and be right back where you started. Instead, get a tapeworm. That little guy will work wonders on your insides and tone your physique like you wouldn’t imagine. Plus, you’ll never be alone on those long flights!
- Don’t waste money on sunscreen. It’s important to wear sunscreen, because the sun’s powerful UV rays can damage your skin and cause horrible melting, but it’s a big waste of your hard earned money to throw it at “sunscreen”. That’s what Big Pharma wants. Just microwave one (1) cup of mayonnaise and apply that; it’s literally the exact same thing.
- Don’t waste money on lightbulbs, either. Live in complete darkness.
- Check your backseat. When you get into your car, always check that no zombies, crazed serial killers, or another unidentified ghoul is hiding back there. You’ll thank me later.
- When painting your face for a pro wrestling match, use the sweat-proof stuff. There’s no worse feeling that applying some sick face-paint right before your big match, just to have it come off 90 seconds later when you start sweating or getting fake punched in the face. Spend the extra dollars on the high-end stuff and get powerbombed through a table looking the way you meant to look.
- Don’t say racist or bigoted things while running for president. This might sound like an obvious one, but you would not believe how many people out there still get this wrong. For starters, it’s just a bad idea to be racist or bigoted in general. Secondly, you run the risk of rubbing people the wrong way. Finally, it could seriously hurt your odds of winning the presidential race. Or not.
If you know anyone that would enjoy this post or who could benefit from some of my tips, please share this post. Also, smash the Medium heart below!
T.Hanks,
-Tyler Lemco
